While I'd generally agree that Apple is the better of the two on the privacy side it's still a false choice because you pretty much have to pick one as a regular person as things currently stand.

It becomes harder over time to function in society without a smart phone (I know this because I barely use mine and it usually lives at home but my partner runs her life off hers).

This style of argument is nonsense because deciding between Android and Apple has about a hundred unrelated but equally important consequences. There is no choice that aligns with all of your wishes (and rights).

Privacy? Just buy Apple (largely an urban legend at this point, but regardless).

Actual ownership? Just buy Android.

Security? Just buy Apple (or Pixel with GrapheneOS).

Repairability? Just buy one of these 4 Android models.

Headphone jack? lol.